


Maybe Stark Industries Just Isn't The Right Fit For You

by eviltrains



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Humour, by the way this is written in second-person so I guess the character is you, lol, not 100 per cent sure what this actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 05:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eviltrains/pseuds/eviltrains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Stark Industries just isn’t for you.</p>
<p>Well, you’re seriously starting to consider that, anyway.</p>
<p>There are a handful of reasons, and every single one of them calls something 'crazy'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Stark Industries Just Isn't The Right Fit For You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I just wrote this last night and then finished it up this morning... so, uh, well, it's humour, I guess? xD; I saw the product summary for this http://www.superherostuff.com/iron-man/t-shirts/iron-man-stark-industries-logo-t-shirt.html?itemcd=tsirnmanstarkind and well there went the idea just flying into my head, with a few minor modifications from what the link describes! :P
> 
> Hahaha, so, well... enjoy!!! :D
> 
> Keep in mind I've only watched the movies so I'm taking serious creative liberties here, probably, lol. If I owned Marvel, which I of course don't, it would probably be easier... ;D (Sneaky disclaimer WHOO!)

Maybe Stark Industries just isn’t for you.

Well, you’re seriously starting to consider that, anyway.

There are a handful of reasons:

1) Your manager is crazy.

No, really. He’s a crazy bastard. Does he even know what he’s doing? His name is Arthur and he wears strange, thick glasses, and he’s really weird. He constantly changes your team’s objectives and working on the R&D floor can be literal hell when he’s running around like a headless chicken with not even a clue of what he’s doing. There are enough explosions in your lab on a weekly basis to make a terrorist suspicious, but apparently here it’s not really all that strange; when Pepper Potts, the CEO, came in to have a look into what was going on all she did was smile tolerantly and say, “Mr. Stark’s lab is usually worse,” before turning around on her heels and leaving.

2) The workers are all crazy.

Your buddy, Joe, works on a different team and he seems like a pretty average guy; hell, even his name gives off that impression.

Well, impressions and facts are often two different things.

The other day, as you walked across the cafeteria, a small smoke bomb landed at your feet and left you to coughing, hands on your knees as you bent doubled over in some kind of pain. Joe, who was walking beside you at the time, suddenly became a flash of movement to your right as he pulled out a god damned light saber. Well, if you’re being totally honest with yourself, you have to admit that it was a pretty good-looking light saber; it alternated between repulsor-beam blue and some glowing bright neon green colour that you can’t really describe. He uttered a war cry and ran forward and pretty soon there was an all out battle in the cafeteria that ended pretty quickly when the scary bitch from administration for your department walked in and glared at everyone with her trademarked evil eye.

Still, it was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

3) The technology is crazy.

The coding is the worst thing about Stark Industries’ technology. For a company that specializes in all the newest, coolest tech and the latest advances in clean energy, the way everything is set up is a veritable nightmare.

You constantly find yourself consulting some kind of manual in order to figure out just what the hell you’re doing; in the beginning, you could barely do your damn job! You’ve been slowly getting the hang of it all, but on a day to day basis it just makes no sense. Mr. Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist extraordinaire (or so he’s always liked to call himself), designed it, so it really should have come as no surprise that it’s as convoluted as it is. Well, nobody ever said that creating the world’s coolest technology would be easy.

And working for Stark Industries most definitely doesn’t make it any easier.

****

There’s certainly a lot that Stark Industries most definitely hasn’t got going for it, but at the same time, there are a lot of ways that your main top 3 reasons of “why Stark Industries might not be the right fit for you” could also be turned around to become something good:

1) Your manager is crazy.

Well, sure, he’s quite a crazy man; but, then, there’s a reason that the people on top hire the people that they do, and there’s a reason that the company is doing so well.

After all, doesn’t crazy breed innovation?

2) The workers are all crazy.

Although the workday at Stark Industries is already pretty interesting (see point #1), the workers just liven it up even more. And while it’s true that you didn’t get to participate in the light saber fight, and you were bent over coughing for the majority of the time, it was still pretty cool, and it was pretty funny to see Joe rushing forward, brandishing a light saber that was both brilliantly green and palely blue.

It was pretty amusing when the scary administration lady demonstrated her ability to stop any fun with just a glare, too.

3) The technology is crazy.

Maybe the technology in the R&D labs is convoluted and confusing, and while it creates no shortage of frustration on a daily basis, the AIs are pretty cool and they pretty much run all the management of the place themselves. They’re like little variations of JARVIS, Tony Stark’s own personal AI, and they’re pretty damn wicked, if you do say so yourself.

And it’s pretty cool to be able to brag to your coder friends outside of Stark Industries that they’ll never be able to understand your work if they try.


End file.
